The Happiness U-Curve

Plus: What Retirees Want-Reframing Aging, and Madeira

Author

Kristen
October 31, 2023 • Estimated Reading Time: 8 minutes

Hello friends, and welcome to Notes from the Road! Glad you're along for the ride. Each week, you'll get news, advice, tools, and inspiration to design your “years beyond careers,” whether you're traveling around the world or blazing a trail in your own backyard. In this issue:

  • How to climb your way back up the Happiness U-Curve

  • Bite-Size Book Review: Chapters 2-3 of What Retirees Want

  • Weekly Roundup

  • Video of the Week: Madeira, Portugal

  • Wisdom on aging from David Bowie

Let’s get started!

Climbing Back Up the Happiness U-Curve

So this week I was going to write about the Happiness U-Curve. This is a theory—popular in the last few years—that human happiness starts to decrease in early adulthood, bottoms out in our 40s, and begins to rise again in our 50s and beyond.

My memory being what it is, I needed a refresher, so I did some research. And found this and this. The Guardian has a good explainer in plain language that teases out some nuances, but still: not great.

It seems that the curve is not a direct path to joy, if it exists at all. As the researchers in Perspectives in Psychological Science put it, “Given the body of evidence over recent years, we cannot conclude there is a universal U-shape in happiness. Furthermore, we are not the only researchers drawing this conclusion.”

It was too late to write a different essay.

So let’s assume that there’s no magical psychological evolution that will deliver us to the doorstep of a joyful retirement. How do we inoculate ourselves against unhappiness as we age?

Luckily, we have Harvard’s 85-year study of adult development to identify what makes us happy in life. And, so far, it’s pretty clear: social fitness. Good social connections “are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.” And that requires deliberate stocktaking of our relationships, determining how they serve us, and tending to them continuously.

If you were to do just one thing to offset any decline in your own happiness curve, this is the place to start. Take stock of your relationships, both now and what you anticipate them to be in retirement. There are seven “keystones of support” that can guide this practice. These describe the types of support we get from each of our relationships, like safety and security, shared experience, fun and relaxation, or romantic intimacy. Take a look at the seven keystones. Which ones are not being supported by your current or anticipated social network? Where can you find the types of support that you’ll need? Does it reside in your current network or do you need to build another? (Another great article here).

What I like about this exercise is that its flexibility: you can do it a little at a time, and you can do it anywhere. You can start with just one keystone, or one relationship.

And this essay ended up being far more interesting than the one I planned. 😂 

Bite-Size Book Review: What Retirees Want

In Chapters 2 and 3 of our book review, the authors go deep on ageism and why we need to reframe aging to give it meaning, importance, and value.

To start, the authors share that ageism is a relatively new phenomenon, and so are the many roles that older people now play in society. Society is trying to keep pace with this vision: Boston, for example, renamed its “Commission on Affairs of the Elderly” to the “Age Strong Commission,” with a public relations boost that stresses the ways in which we can thrive in retirement.

The authors argue for a redefinition of “Seniors” to “Modern Elders.” They also cite research that suggests retirement is a very happy, satisfying time of growth for many. This book is a manifesto of sorts, urging readers to consider retirement a time of exploration, renewed purpose, and a new story.

Next week: Chapter 4—Putting Wisdom to Work: The New Role, Timing, and Purpose of Post-Retirement Employment. (PS I receive no compensation for writing about this book; I’m just doing it for fun).

Now’s your chance to be a Modern Elder!

The Weekly Roundup

Worth your time to watch, read, and listen.

📰 68-year-old who "unretired" shares wisdom. An unhappy retiree went on a 30-day retreat and shares lessons learned. (5 min. read)

📰 Free (or Cheap) College for Retirees in All 50 States. Comprehensive list but many ads on this site, please be aware.

🤣 One 8-year-old’s plan for being 100. (15 second read).

🎞️ Bonus just for fun: For fans of English history and countryside scenes, meet Kirsten and Georg: 2 Germans in Britain. They moved to the UK several years ago and now share their stays in very old, very cozy cottages. This 16th Century cottage in Devon is my favorite. (28 mins.)

🌟💡🌟Anything that you’d like us to share in the Weekly Roundup? Any burning topics you’d like us to write about? Let us know.

Video of the Week: Madeira, Portugal

In a nod to the Part-Time Expat department of 89 Days Away (i.e., my husband), I share a recent video we recently shot in Madeira, Portugal. Located about 300 miles off the coast of Morocco, Madeira has been called the “Hawaii of Europe.” It’s one of our favorite spots. If you’d like to follow some folks who have decided to retire there, head over to YouTube and watch Alan and his family and/or Doug and Monique.

❝

I think aging as an extraordinary process where you get to be the person you always should’ve been.

David Bowie

Just imagine how much fun it would be to read this every 1-2 weeks!

🌟💡🌟 Thanks for reading! How did we do this week? I’d love to hear from you with comments, questions, feedback, suggestions. Let us know. 🌟💡🌟

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